Wisdom Tooth Surgery — Quadruple Tooth Pwnage!

Well hello there! Finally reporting in just six hours after the beginning of my wisdom tooth surgery (AKA five hours since the IV was taken out). To my great disappointment, I am not still doped up/drunk-ish from the IV and cannot write some kind of strange, hilarious blog as I thought I might. In fact, I was not really that way at all, ever. So, here’s how it goes.

An hour before, I put the pill they gave me under my tongue, waiting for it dissolve. It took its own sweet time, I’ll tell you that much! At first, I didn’t taste anything, but it shortly began to taste like the coating of a Sudafed. It was oh so delicious….*sarcasm, anyone?*

So, we get to the doctor’s office, and mom and I sit down to chitchat since we’re twenty minutes early. She proceeds to laugh and giggle at the fact that, apparently, I was slurring my words a little bit! 🙂 It was harder to keep my train of thought, but I didn’t necessarily feel “tired,” like they said I would. Evidently my fingers also have a mind of their own when I am still recovering, because they are NOT typing the words I want to as I’m writing this.

Anyway, so then the doctor calls me to the back and sets me down, covers me with a blankie, and starts poking around my arm with his finger. Everywhere and anywhere on that arm that he can get to, he pokes.

“Lift your arm.” Poke.
“Dangle your arm from the side of the chair.” Poke.
“Stretch your arm as far as you can.” Poke.
“Clench your fist.” Poke.

Then he walks to the other arm and starts all over again. When he’s learning that he can’t find my veins very easily in my elbows, he moved to the tops of my hands and proceeds to flick them for the next ten minutes. He couldn’t find any good veins there, either (which greatly surprised me, considering my piano-playing hands). He rolled his little wheely chair down and flicked a corner of the covers from off my feet.

“NO.” I said. There shall be no argument, Mr. Doctor. As I told him, “I would rather you dig around in my arm and keep missing than do it on the top of my foot.” He wasn’t really happy with that, but he came up and did the whole poking/flicking routine all over again. Finally, I think he just got frustrated and put me on laughing gas, most likely to get me to shut up and go to sleep. I breathed only through my nose (where the laughing gas was filtering out), very deeply, for a few minutes.

Well, sorry for you, Mr. Doctor, but I appear to be completely immune to your laughing gas. Mwahahaha! He kept looking at me, and I kept watching him, and finally the nurses got the cue that they should talk to me to see if I was sedated and not making sense.

“What have you done this summer? Anything fun?”
“Not much,” I said. “I tried to find a job, but no one will hire me. Then again, I don’t blame them, because I won’t even be home past the middle of August. Of course they won’t hire someone for only two months.”
“Oh, why won’t you be home through August?” the assistant asked.
“Oh, I’m leaving to study abroad in Hungary.”

At this point, the assistant looked at the doctor like, “Umm…what the heck? Isn’t she supposed to be asleep/incoherent?” So finally the doctor just plopped the needle into my arm, and I assumed (judging by the feeling of the needle moving under my skin and then a pop) that he had hit the vein. Indeed he had not. So he tried again on the other side of my arm, and he got it. It hurt. A lot, all things considered, including the fact that that needle went in only a few inches away from the other one. He kept asking if I was okay, and I kept repeating that I was fine, nothing to worry about.

Relax, dude. I’m not a pansy, but I’m still going to frown for a moment when you shove a sharp object into my veins. Oh and by the way, I know you’re a vampire anyway. You use IVs as an excuse, but I know who you truly are! Look at my arm!


So anyway, I had made up my mind before going that I was going to try to the best of my ability to notice the point at which I fell asleep (I am capable of doing that at home). There was a cool sensation going up to my shoulder, and my thoughts went something like this:

“Oh, well that must be HI THERE! Oh, you’re gonna put me in a wheelchair, how nice of you!”

Yeah, that was a time gap of like an hour. My original thought, which would have been ‘oh, well that must be the medicine that I feel” got completely erased in favor of me waking up after the surgery to a smiling lady. I could (and did) feel the medicine, and I felt it take effect for about a second (looking up and seeing spots on the white ceiling). Then I was in a small room, lying on my back to a nurse coming in and yelling at me, telling me to lie on my side. When she led my mom back, I got frustrated that I was having a hard time talking with the numbness and the gauze, so I snatched mom’s Kindle and started typing to ask if I could see the teeth, and to tell mom that we had forgotten to make a trip to Golden Corral. Then I left and got into the Jeep, and now I’m home!

It went really well, overall. I wish I could have seen the teeth, and I wish the doctor would have been willing to explain what he did. I am curious to know how they came out. I know that they were taken out in pieces, but I am curious to know how this is achieved and how long it takes. Oh well. I guess there are some people less likely than others to sate one’s curiosity. Too bad.

The surgery was at about 10 this morning, and it is almost 5pm as I am writing this. Right now, it hasn’t been bleeding for about 5 hours. Hope it doesn’t start again! Sure, biting down on the gauze stops the bleeding, but it makes the wounds hurt too! I got that crap out of my mouth as soon as I could and haven’t touched it since. I do have hard “balls” near the back of my jaw on the bottom, but I knew that that would happen. So, the numbness has gone away and I drank about a fourth of a peach protein juice drink, and I’m feelin’ peachy! (No pun intended.)

Just wanted to update because I said I would. This has been bythepathlesstraveled, four teeth shorter but in high spirits, signing off! POOF!


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